I want to scream but I don’t have the energy
Pointlessly I wonder…
Do I purposely walk back into this heavy black cloud?
Am I pulled by a greater force?
Regardless, I’m quite familiar with the poison
And allow it in my life anyway
It weighs me down and steals my breath
My heart is in my stomach
And my stomach in my throat
Every time the fog begins to lift I walk back in
Sometimes I run
Theories and diagnoses run through my mind
I try to make sense of the memories that were lies
Broken dreams and promises
Hurtful empty words
Intrusive thoughts and fantasies
Invade my thoughts and cry…
WHY???!!!
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